WAR
28th
November 2012
I am
exhausted and so is my soul. The horror in the faces I photograph every day is
wearing me out. Today, as yesterday, we have been looking for the best photo:
the most terrified face, the most tens moment or a shot in a dead body. That is
what western people want to see: how others kill themselves, so that they can
feel fortunate.
Today we have
gone to Hadrej, as there was a battle there. We have done 200 km in a van with
the CNN team; my team and me to take a picture, CNN to film death. That is not
what I meant when I entered this profession; I wanted to show the world the sad
sight of life and humanity -and I do-, but I have realised that it isn’t ethic
nor fair.
29th
November 2012
I feel
execrable. I’m a sort of furniture watching the events. Just watching how
people die around me. John has died today: it is part of the job. But that
little child crying in the middle of the road, who has done nothing, seated on
the top of his mother’s body with all those flies around him... Oh no! I can’t
stand it anymore!
I am getting
mad. I could have never imagined humans would be able to be this cruel, this
insensitive; this inhuman! There is only death in this place. I had got so used
to it that I didn’t even see further of my camera. Thanks god I have woken up
of that dream to live the real nightmare. A dark nightmare I want to escape
from, but I can’t.
30th
November 2012
The photo of
the little child appeared yesterday on the front page of Washington Post. I am
giving up. In two days I am taking a plane back to USA; that’s enough. I am
sorry diary, but I am not capable to write...
2nd
December 2012
Here I am:
back to the “civilized” world. Now I am far away from war, death and pain
–physically- . But I have been injured: injured by all those eyes claiming for
a clemency they would never have; by all that hope that people lost; by all
that peace they dreamt of; by all that help I never gave them.
You have been
my witness, dear diary.
Farewell.
Marc Flores
2nd
BATX A
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